Roll on Summer

Trust the manMy MSN DVD column has yet to go up, but there’s a good reason for that — all of our resources have been devoted to assembling this year’s expansive Summer Movie Preview, which is currently dominating the site.

Jump on in, and see the wealth of entertainment coming your way in the next four months … and the DVD column will be live before you know it.

Tony Stark Conquers the World

You don't really want to download my movie, do you?“A Nightmare on Elm Street” was the domestic box-office winner over the weekend, grossing $32.2 million in North America, but “Iron Man 2” — released a week earlier in the rest of the world — filled its overseas coffers to the tune of $100.2 million.

So … that’s impressive. And a bit of a gamble, since foregoing a simultaneous worldwide release just means exposing yourself to piracy. Camcorder copies of “Iron Man 2” are already circulating online, and I’d wager you’ll be able to buy them on the street in certain North American markets ** cough hack Canal Street snort cough ** well before the film opens there on Friday.

We’re not talking about another “Wolverine” thing here, where a studio screener was released online, but still. The movie’s out there, and if I’ve learned anything from living in Toronto’s Chinatown, where sidewalk vendors sell dodgy pirate discs to tourists from sidewalk blankets, it’s that people don’t worry too much about quality. They just want to own something they’re not supposed to.

Me, I’m waiting for the press screening. And I’m jealous of all those European critics who saw the film last week. Come to think of it, I’m jealous of all the Europeans, full stop; I’m really looking forward to “Iron Man 2”.

Making the Upgrade

Tremble before its beauty, once you've removed the bloatwareSorry for yesterday’s absence; I spent the day transferring files from my wheezy old laptop to its shiny new replacement — when I wasn’t watching more documentaries, of course.

But all is well and good now, and the new machine is humming right along … which is handy, because I have quite a lot of work to do. I mean, sure, I could rhapsodize about the design improvements Sony’s made in the last two and a half years — the illuminated keyboard, the multi-touch trackpad, the sensibly placed smart-card readers, and so on — but who has time?

Yeah, I’ll admit it: I’m Sony’s bitch. But right now, right this minute, when everything’s humming along properly, I kind of don’t mind.

The Good, the Bad and the Freddy

Let us never speak of this againIf you used one page of this week’s NOW as a statistical sample — page 70, to be specific — you could reasonably conclude that (1) this week’s movies are terrible, or (2) I hate everything. But neither of those conclusions would be correct. That’s the problem with samples.

The truth of it is that there are three really terrible movies opening this week — four, actually, if you include the movie Rad reviews on page 71. (We’ll get to that.) But they’re balanced, somewhat, by one really good little film and a horror remake that was much better than I expected it to be. Let’s see if you can figure out which is which as we go down the list:

“English Butler Masala Chai”: The daughter of a stodgy Indian mogul tries to hide her love connection with an English royal by enlisting a gay friend as her beard. Rad is not amused.

Furry Vengeance“: A bunch of CG-enhanced animals declare war on hapless corporate tool Brendan Fraser in this awful, awful eco-comedy. The fact that it’s arriving a week after Earth Day should tell you something about the distributor’s confidence in the film’s message.

Gunless“: I’m just thinking out loud here, but given the current hostility towards the arts in Ottawa, is it really the right time to make a movie this terrible with four million dollars of federal funding? But then, is it ever?

A Nightmare on Elm Street“: Samuel Bayer preserves the core values of Wes Craven’s 1984 creeper with an update that’s low on jokes and big on ugliness — and Jackie Earle Haley is a really nice choice as the new Freddy. I was pleasantly surprised, if you can use that term in relation to a movie where teenagers are eviscerated by the truckload.

Passenger Side“: I’ve been batting for Matthew Bissonnette’s delicate little study of two brothers (fully realized by Adam Scott and the director’s brother Joel) driving around Los Angeles on a vaguely defined mission since August. Isn’t it about time you see the damn thing?

The Perfect Game“: A bunch of plucky Mexican urchins go all the way to the 1957 Little League championships — and learn valuable life lessons along the way — in this insipid family film from director William Dear. Worth watching for Emilie de Ravin’s appearance as the broadest period journalist since Jennifer Jason Leigh in “The Hudsucker Proxy” … you know, if you’re high.

Step Back to Reality

And yet there's an emptiness insideIt’s Hot Docs time again — yay! Seriously, yay; it’s a terrific festival, and as someone who’s been watching documentaries for five straight weeks now, the fact that I still want to watch more of them says it all.

The latest issue of NOW features our very first Hot Docs supplement. Check out the cover story, in which I interview the director and subject of “The Story of Furious Pete”, a fascinating and disturbing if not quite entirely satisfying look at a Canadian competitive eater with a unique backstory. Oh, and then you’ll want to flip to the paper proper for my piece on the Ripping Reality retrospective, which highlights ten influential docs from the past decade.

Also in this issue, you’ll find my interview with Matthew Bissonnette, his brother Joel and their friend Adam Scott, who made “Passenger Side” together, which you may remember me enjoying quite a bit. And though it hasn’t gone up yet, there’ll be an online Q&A with Samuel Bayer, director of the new “Nightmare on Elm Street”. I’ll link to it as soon as It’s live!

Haven’t I been telling you I’ve been busy?

Beneath the Veneer, There’s More Veneer: Un Film de Nancy Meyers

They tried fourteen tubs before they picked this oneAh, there’s this week’s MSN DVD column, in which I confront my Nancy Meyers problem head-on. I’ve been going to see her movies for a decade, you understand, and we still have nothing to say to one another.

I will admit to enjoying her remake of “The Parent Trap”, but that was more to do with Lindsay Lohan’s performance(s) and the fact that the movie wasn’t about the usual Nancy Meyers stuff. I mean, I don’t even remember what the kitchens looked like in “The Parent Trap” …

Quiet Time

And they said we couldn't pull another six episodes out of our buttsMaybe it’s just the fact that I spent the last few days working in a white heat and now find myself ahead of my deadlines, but it seems like nothing’s going on in the world. And since my MSN DVD column has yet to go live, I have nothing to blog about. Like, squat.

I mean, the “Piranha 3D” trailer is out, but that’s not exactly newsworthy. And season 3.5 of “Chuck” started last night, but I haven’t seen the episode yet, so I can’t even allow myself to read the piece I just linked to for fear of spoilers.

Oh, but this is interesting: A newspaper critic has voluntarily departed his print position to go online. That may be an industry first. But it’s the New Jersey Star-Ledger’s Alan Seppinwall, who’s spent a very long time crafting his online presence, so it almost makes sense.

(This blog, by the way, is my online presence. I won’t be transitioning any time soon, I suspect.)

Well, That’s Not Much of Anything

No, please, reduce me to my component partsDreamWorks Animation’s delightful “How to Train Your Dragon” surged back to the top of the charts this past weekend … though “surged” probably isn’t the best term, since its $15 million gross marked a pretty weak take.

Still, that was a better showing than the new arrivals. Neither “The Back-Up Plan” nor “The Losers” did particularly well, bringing in $12.3 and $9.6 million, respectively, and “Kick-Ass” dropped down to fifth place with a feeble $9.5 million.

In fact, the most entertaining thing about the weekend’s box office is this marvelous little moment in the wire piece:

While “The Back-up Plan” opened weakly, CBS Films was hoping it would hold up well in subsequent weekends, as romantic comedies often do.

“Jennifer Lopez’s films have great legs, as does she,” said Steven Friedlander, head of distribution for CBS Films.

You stay classy, Mr. Friedlander.

There’s Always Something in the Tank

This is not a special effectI know, I know — I usually link to my latest MSN Movies gallery on Saturdays. (God, I’m predictable.) But I posted the gallery earlier this week, which would theoretically leave me linkless …

… except that this week was also NOW’s Hot Docs preview issue, so I can point you to my list of early festival picks and the sidebar on documentaries about families I wrote to accompany Susan’s cover story on “Life with Murder”.

I totally planned this out in advance. Doesn’t that just blow your mind?

A Quiet Moment

Or are they ... winners?I’m as shocked as you are, but there are no film festivals kicking off this weekend — allowing a much-needed breather as we ramp up for Hot Docs. And there aren’t even that many movies opening. It’s bliss.

“The Back-Up Plan”: Jennifer Lopez’ new romantic comedy casts her as a despairing singleton who goes in for in vitro fertilization on the very same day she meets a potential mate. According to Glenn, wackiness decidedly does not ensue.

GravyTrain“: April Mullen and Tim Doiron, makers of “Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Way of the Tosser” return with a stylized comic mystery about murders in a small town that feels like the worst game of “yes, and” ever played. My review should be online later today, but in a word? Unreleasable.

The Losers“: When I met him on the “Watchmen” junket, Jeffrey Dean Morgan described this action thriller as exactly the sort of change of pace he needed after the heaviness of playing the Comedian. Having seen it, I totally take his point. My review should be online later today.

“The Secret in Their Eyes”: The Argentine thriller that beat out “A Prophet” and “The White Ribbon” for this year’s Foreign-Language Oscar finally makes its way to Canada. Susan liked it; Jason had reservations.

See? I said it was a light week …

My other other gig.