Of course there are second acts in American lives. And third ones. And encores.

And then there’s whatever the hell O.J. Simpson is doing.

Look, I was as guilty as anyone else of prurient interest in the Simpson murder trial back in the nineties; the crime itself was spectacular, and once the trial began it was fascinating to watch justice perverted in slow motion (“sidebar, your honor”) every time I flipped to CNN.

I was also in Los Angeles for the Bronco chase, so I guess that’s something.

But now, evidently having given up scouring every golf course in America in search of the real killers, the Juice has decided to explore the crime from inside the mind of the murderer. He’s written a new book, “If I Did It” , in which he hypothetically discusses the crime as though he’d been the one holding the knife — just for shits and giggles, of course, since there’s no way this constitutes a confession.

And he’s promoting it with a two-part TV special to be broadcast — where else? — on Fox.

Oh, and Michael Jackson’s back, too.

Sorry if it’s all too much. Please accept this puppy chaser with my apologies.