Oy.

What do I look like, a putz?Some comics are known for being confrontational. Some comics are known for being vulgar. Some comics are known for using outrageousness and vulgarity to comment on social mores. I’m sure you can think of a few examples — Don Rickles, Sam Kinison, George Carlin, Sarah Silverman.

And then there’s that delightful Jackie Mason, who’s just clawed his way back into the news cycle by lobbing a racial slur at Barack Obama:

At a show in New York City last week, Mason called Obama a “shvartze,” the gossip Web site TMZ reports. The term generally refers to a black person, but some people believe it has a negative connotation, akin to the n-word in English.

And some people — oh, let’s say those of us who grew up with elderly Jewish grandparents who never quite adjusted to the melting-pot nature of North America — know that there’s no other connotation to the word besides the negative.

Seriously, check out the story. Mason tries to parse his way out of trouble by playing the victim card, and somehow ends up dragging Oprah into it. What a mensch.

And Nic Cage Will Play “The Cat from Outer Space”

It's a post-traumatic recovery kit -- aromatherapy, Valium, and a flamethrowerThey’ve got to be happy at Disney this weekend: “Race to Witch Mountain” is the number-one movie in North America, pulling in $25 million, easily besting runner-up “Watchmen”. Which couldn’t have been difficult, given that “Watchmen” is rated R and runs fully an hour longer than the Disney picture.

New entries “Last House on the Left” and “Miss March” came in third and tenth, respectively. And “Taken”, the Luc Besson-produced thriller in which Liam Neeson beats up Paris to rescue his daughter, held strong in fourth place — it’s the sleeper of the year, having grossed approximately $126 million in a little over six weeks.

The good news: Liam Neeson is back on top, baby! The bad news: Disney’s probably going to sign him to play the befuddled government agent chasing Zac Efron in a 21st century update of “The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes”.

You think I’m kidding, don’t you?

Coming Back Wrong

The focus of the 'Texas Chainsaw' prequel seemed somehow ... differentReboot. Re-imagining. Re-invention.

These are words that get thrown around a lot by the movie industry these days — usually when they’re trying to launch a new version of an old, half-remembered property, or fix a franchise its producers believe should have been more successful the first time around.

Sometimes it even works: Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies and Martin Campbell’s “Casino Royale” are reboots in the best sense of the term. But what happens far more often is that someone like Michael Bay gets his monster claws on a horror movie he vaguely recalls seeing as a teenager and produces a new version that resembles the original property in name only, with everything that made the first version powerful or resonant drained away in the name of faster-bigger-louder.

Those movies are the ones I’m addressing in today’s Sympatico/MSN gallery. You’ll understand.

Strange Invaders

Wait a second, what's Eddie Albert doing up there?After the build-up to “Watchmen”, the lack of an Event Picture this weekend seems like a bit of a let-down. But there’s still plenty of other stuff landing at the megaplex, the better to vie for your Spring Break dollars:

Crossing Over“: Wayne Kramer, director of “The Cooler” and the Paul Walker edge-fest “Running Scared”, weighs in on American immigration by turning every facet of a complex and intractable issue into pap. Harrison Ford glowers; Ray Liotta oozes slime; Jim Sturgess murders Jewish folk songs and Australian actress and Australian actress Alice Eve is sexually exploited in the role of a sexually exploited Australian actress. (Irony alert!) Seriously, this makes “Crash” look like “Traffic”. And I liked “Crash”.

Gomorrah“: I wasn’t as enthused about Matteo Garrone’s overstuffed Mafia drama as some of my Cannes colleagues, and I’m still not sure it’s as revolutionary or as important as Martin Scorsese and David Cronenberg would have me believe. That said, I did like it a lot more on the second go-round, and if either Messrs. Scorsese or Cronenberg wants to take a shot at persuading me over lunch or something, I’m totally open to that.

“The Last House on the Left”: Wes Craven’s grotty revenge flick — still the only grindhouse film freely adapted from an Ingmar Bergman movie, though a case could probably be made for “Angel” as a transposition of “Nights of Cabiria” — gets fed into the Michael Bay remake machine. Andrew is repelled, but not in the good way.

“Miss March”: The guys from The Whitest Kids U Know have made a movie! And it wasn’t screened until the last possible second! So we have no idea whether it’s any good, but I’m thinking “wasn’t screened until the last possible second” is not a positive sign.

Race to Witch Mountain“: Still doubting the boundless charm and appeal of Dwayne Johnson and Carla Gugino? Watch them make their way effortlessly through this dopey, chaotic reimagining of the Disney chestnut without ever once condescending to the material. Actually, just take my word for it. You’ll be better off. (My NOW review should go live any minute now. UPDATE: There it is!)

“RiP: A Remix Manifesto”: Brett Gaylor’s documentary investigates copyright and intellectual property. I missed the press screenings, but Susan liked it, so I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for the bootleg DVD.

Nah, I’m kidding. I’ll download it.

(Still kidding.)

In Praise of Things That Are Really Other Things

Bubbles! My bubbles!Feeling experimental? Can’t wait for the Images festival to start up next month? Head over to the Revue Cinema tonight for a themed commission of short works on the nature of the villain in popular culture, why don’t you? I mean, if you think you might like that sort of thing.

Also of note today: The Onion AV Club adds Claire Denis’ “Beau Travail” to its New Cult Canon, and on a similar note, Cinematical shows a little love to Darren Aronofksy’s misunderstood gem “The Fountain”.

Maybe now that “The Wrestler” has redeemed Aronofsky among the cineastes, people will give that movie another chance and see what was really going on amidst all the conquistadoring and tree-sucking.

Yeah, you heard me.

Feel the Love

I'm sure I know you from 'Mad Men'My latest Sympatico/MSN DVD column lets me shine a little light on “Rachel Getting Married” and its strange, bumpy ride through awards season.

Not that a movie is defined by its prizing, mind you (except perhaps “Revolutionary Road”, in which case, ha-ha!), but it was certainly weird to see Jonathan Demme’s lovely ensemble drama go from indie front-runner to respected also-ran in the space of a few weeks.

Anyway, here’s hoping it finds the audience it deserves now that it’s on disc. Of course, it’s coming out the same week as “Let the Right One In”, “Milk” and “Synecdoche, New York” … which is why I figured it needed the spotlight.

C’mon, bring it home. Be a dear.

Television is Out of Ideas

Ray Wise was otherwise engagedIt’s pilot season. And Variety is reporting that Rebecca Romijn has just been cast in ABC’s “Eastwick”, alongside Linsday Price and Jaime Ray Newman and Veronica Cartwright.

Sayeth the industry bible:

“Eastwick” revolves around three women who discover they have mystical powers when a mysterious man comes to town.

I mean, yeah, that’s what John Updike’s book was about, too … kinda …

Seriously, though. How did they pitch this? “It’s ‘Desperate Housewives’, but with Satan! Perfect for the Sunday night block!”

And poor Veronica Cartwright. Twenty-two years after the George Miller movie, here she is spewing cherries all over again …

Busy, for a Slow Day

Yes, sometimes I actually care about sportsSorry for the later post than usual — it’s just been a flurry of screenings, last-minute DVD couriering and filing to deadline, and all of a sudden it’s 4:30 in the afternoon and I’m just remembering I have a blog.

I blame the weather. It’s gray and oppressive here, which makes my sinus cavities into some kind of resonance chamber, apparently, and I’ve been walking around bleary for days. A good hour of rain usually clears that up, but we haven’t had much luck there.

Actually, I can’t really pray for rain today, since that might interfere (or at least slow down) tonight’s World Baseball Classic match-up between Canada and Italy, and my brother –who’s doing the play-by-play on said game — would really hate that.

Check him out if you’re able: 590 AM in the Toronto area, or online anywhere at the Fan’s site; just click on the “Listen Live” tab. The game starts at 6:30 pm EDT, though the broadcast doesn’t catch up until 7 pm. I think you’ll be able to catch it online from the start.

I won’t be able to tune in, myself. (Lousy day job, making me work nights.) But I know it’ll be worth the listen. He’s really very good at this stuff.

Hurm.

Long night. Morning soon. Must deposit residuals cheque.The box-office reports are in, and “Watchmen” has won the weekend — though with a three-day gross of just $55.7 million, industry reports are pointing out that we’re not looking at another blockbuster on the scale of “The Dark Knight”.

I’m not entirely surprised. An R-rated, 160-minute adaptation of a property few outside the comics world will recognize was never going to compete with Batman, or even pull in Spider-Man-scale numbers. You need to go beyond the core fans for something like that. Same thing happened to the first “Hellboy”, and that was a good 50 minutes shorter.

Still, this is a solid opening, and there’s more cash to come with the international run, and after that there’s the home-video bonanza, what with all the different cuts Warner is planning to release.

And then, of course, there’s the inevitable Saturday morning spinoff.

No, not really. But it’s awesome, isn’t it?

Hey, I Know that Mailbox …

All they did was offer him a TimbitWith “One Week” and “Pontypool” turning the lens of Canadian film back on Canada itself — the first being a travelogue of national landmarks, and the second being a more practical consideration of our nation as a wintry hellscape filled with cannibalistic maniacs — it seemed like a good time to do a Sympatico/MSN movie gallery about all the clumsy attempts to repurpose Canadian locations as American cities.

I’m sure you’ll come up with other examples, but I could only fit eight into the piece — and I didn’t want to keep it too Toronto-centric, so I had to leave out such gems as Norman Jewison’s “The Hurricane”.

Remember that one? With Dan Hedaya’s (non-existent) American cop threatening John Hannah and Deborah Kara Unger right in front of a Toronto Star box? Yeah, maybe it’s best that you don’t.

My other other gig.