To celebrate the bizarro-universe joys of “JCVD”, this week’s Sympatico/MSN gallery runs down a list of other films in which actors play themselves.

(And yes, I know this is two straight weeks of Neil Patrick Harris citations. Dude’s awesome, he can take it.)

Incidentally, I just found out that Entertainment Weekly has a similar gallery in their latest issue. Oh, sure, they remembered Billy Zane, but I’ve got Elisabeth Shue …

The week’s cinematic landscape is dominated by a pair of awfully brawny gentlemen. Why don’t we dive right in?

“JCVD”: Is Jean-Claude Van Damme really reinventing himself as a thoughtful has-been, or is he just taking credit for being smart enough to sign onto Mabrouk El Mechri’s zippy meta-thriller before Steven Seagal could get hold of it? (And why can’t it be both?) Barrett and Jason are both pretty high on the movie, as am I. Check it out before it’s tarnished by Van Damme’s next direct-to-video crapfest.

“Quantum of Solace”: The Bond franchise backslides a little in this new outing, which finds director Marc Forster looking for a compromise between the elegance of “Casino Royale” and the more visceral expectations of the “Bourne” audience, and misjudging the ratio a little. The first hour is terrific, thanks to Daniel Craig’s stellar interpretation of 007 as a blunt instrument rather than a tuxedoed suavester and Mathieu Almaric’s obvious delight at playing his scheming nemesis, Dominic Greene; the last act falls victim to the formulaic bloat that’s plagued most Bond adventures since “Thunderball”. But it’ll still be a smash.

Also opening this week: A documentary about counterculture poster art called “Died Young, Stayed Pretty”, for which neither Barrett nor Adam had much patience. Me, I’d recommend you catch “Slumdog Millionaire” as soon as possible … but then, I said that yesterday.

I’ve interviewed Danny Boyle so many times in the last few years that it doesn’t even feel like work; between his convivial enthusiasm and the Northern accent, it’s like sitting down for a chat with one of my brothers-in-law.

It also helps that I love his work. “Shallow Grave”, “Trainspotting”, “Millions”, “Sunshine” — spin up any one of those and be transported. And yeah, the last third of “28 Days Later” goes pear-shaped, but the first hour is an expertly controlled exercise in mounting zombie horror.

Boyle’s new movie, “Slumdog Millionaire”, opened yesterday; here’s my review, and here’s our TIFF interview. You’re probably tired of hearing me say this, but don’t wait for the DVD — see this one on a big screen.

Over at the Atlantic’s website, reformed conservative Andrew Sullivan suggests that the Obama victory doesn’t so much as turn the page on the Bush era as reboot America: “Now,” he writes, “we get our lives back.”

Which may explain why the country flocked to that “Madagascar” sequel in droves over the weekend, pushing it to a staggering $63.5 million box-office tally. I guess people needed the release, huh? Either that, or Ben Stiller truly is a money machine these days.

I bet Sony’s regretting the decision to push “Quantum of Solace” back a week now … imagine the escapism appeal there!

In a slightly lighter vein than usual, my latest Sympatico/MSN gallery tips its hat to “Role Models” by offering up several recent movie characters whom we would be ill-disposed to emulate.

Look, I’m going to bring up “Fight Club” every chance I get. Just accept it.

Ah, the Friday release rundown. It’s good to be home. So what have we got? One of the year’s best movies, and a lot of other stuff.

“The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”: I’ve imposed a moratorium on Holocaust movies after the horror that was “Good“, and the trailer for this one didn’t give me much hope, but Susan found it worthwhile.

“I’ve Loved You So Long“: Kristin Scott Thomas is astonishingly good as a woman returning to her family after a decade and a half in prison; the movie around her, maybe not so much. But the performance is so strong that I recommend seeing the film anyway, just so you can be ahead of the curve on the whole dark-horse Oscar nomination.

“Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa”: Because the first film left so many questions unanswered, obviously. The only question on my mind? “How much did Sacha Baron Cohen get to come back as the wacky lemur, and to which charity did he donate it?”

“Real Time”: Small-time loser Jay Baruchel and cranky mentor Randy Quaid drive around Hamilton for an hour and ten minutes, at the end of which Quaid will shoot Baruchel in the head. I was rooting for him to do it at the fifteen-minute mark, just so I could get out of Randall Cole’s miserable dramatic thriller. Rad suffered right along with me.

“Role Models”: Paul Rudd and Stifler as immature jerks who end up playing Big Brother to a pair of troubled kids? Sign me up — especially when virtually everyone says it’s better than it has any right to be.

“Synecdoche, New York“: Charlie Kaufman’s directorial debut is the logical next step from the screenwriter of “Being John Malkovich”, “Adaptation” and “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, which is to say it’s a conceptual labyrinth of the highest order. And strangely moving. Just generally fantastic, really.

“Triage: Dr. James Orbinski’s Humanitarian Dilemma“: One of the stronger films I saw at Hot Docs, Patrick Reed’s simple, verite documentary revisits the twin nightmares of Somalia and Rwanda through the eyes of a man who was there, and tried to stop the bleeding. Literally.

“The World Unseen”: Unseen by me, anyway; it screened while I was out of town. But Lisa Ray is in it, and everyone loves her, even if they’re obliged to admit — as Kieran is — that she’s deserving of better projects.

… oh, and there’s this documentary thing called “Dirty Country” opening at the Bloor on Sunday. Best recommended to die-hard Larry Pierce fans.

Who’s Larry Pierce, you ask? Exactly.